2022英语全国卷I读后续写分析

吴蕊敏

一、真题

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn’t with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!

I quickly searched the crowd for the school’s coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him, ” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration (懊恼). I knew the coach meant well — he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that’s all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为 150 左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.

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I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.

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二、审题

1.体裁：记叙文

2.记叙文六要素：

when：越野赛前

where：越野赛的赛场

who：David（with a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children）, I（a special education teacher at the school）, the school’s coach, students from seven different primary schools

why and what：由于教练的“好心”，脑部疾病引发腿部残疾的男孩David担心自己参加越野赛会被嘲笑，决定放弃比赛，作为他的老师我见证了David的毅力和为这次比赛所做出的努力，并为他的坚强意志而骄傲。

how: 文章的结局正是续写的内容。

3.文章主旨：文章描述了一个身体有残疾，却意志坚强，积极向上的男孩David，在比赛面前担心被嘲笑而放弃比赛，作者欣赏男孩的毅力和努力，走过去和David挨着坐下来，故事由此展开。

4.主要人物的性格特点：

David：意志坚强，积极向上，为实现目标努力奋斗，困难面前从不放弃，但因自身残疾又有些怯懦自卑。

I：作为David的老师热爱并欣赏自己的学生。

5.文章的语言特点：文章语言生动，形象鲜明，使用多种丰富的词汇和语法结构。续写要尽力与原文在语言风格上保持一致。

6.原文与续写之间的契合点：

David身残志坚，渴望参加比赛，但稍有自卑，“我”作为他的老师热爱学生并欣赏David的坚强意志，在David要退出比赛的时候会用自己的爱心去支持和鼓励他克服困难，积极面对，并且David会接受老师的建议，勇敢地完成比赛。

7.主题弘扬正能量：David身残志坚，积极向上，“我”富有爱心，欣赏学生的优秀品质，而且其他人没有嘲笑David，而是热情的鼓励和支持他。

三、写作

1.进程分析：①由第一段首句“我们挨着坐着，但 David不愿看我一眼”和第二段首句“我看着 David和其他选手一起走向起跑线”可知，第一段可描写作者鼓励 David继续完成比赛， David经过强烈的心理斗争，最终决定参加比赛。②由第二段首句“我看着 David和其他选手一起走向起跑线”可知，第二段可描写 David开始参赛，虽然中途遇到困难，但是仍然坚持到最后，完成比赛，并且因此也赢得了对手的敬意。

2.情感接续：①根据第一段首句中的“David wouldn’t look at me”可知，David内心有自卑感，参赛的内驱力不足，因而作者需要通过一定的方式（话语）鼓励David，帮助他重建参赛的信心。②根据第二段首句中的“watched”与“moved up to”可以推测出，David已经走出心理阴影，作者也倍感欣慰，但是即便如此，比赛中的种种意外情况也时有发生，因此故事进程中，David可能会因遇到巨大挑战而内心产生波动，作者也会因此对此做出一定的回应。

3.矛盾解决：David克服重重困难、坚定信息、相信自我，最终跑完了比赛、赢得了他人的尊敬。

四、策略储备

1.源语篇的解读策略：精准定位分析源语篇中的人物/事件及相关要素特征，把握源语篇的语篇基调、情感要素、事件进程、矛盾焦点等。

2.人物心理件刻画策略：记叙文写作除了关注故事的“六要素”外，还需要根据源语篇作者对人物、事件等的叙述与描写方法，在续写中予以还原，即在还原故事的同时，还原作者的写作方法。

3.续写语篇整合策略：续写语篇是人物、事件、矛盾冲突、情感发展、人际关系处理、矛盾的解决之道等的综合体，因此在续写的过程中，必须首先运用一定的技巧，构建这些要素的整合图景。

4.精准语言表达策略：续写语篇必须站在与源语篇相同的视角上，在模仿源语篇作者的语言特征的同时，精确把握写作要点，精准完成故事的续写。

五、精读原文

1.丰富的词汇：

warm up热身 spot看到big toothy smile大大的露齿微笑hesitate犹豫laugh at嘲笑bite back my frustration忍住我的沮丧rock from side to side左右摇摆swing his feet forward向前摆动着脚participate参加to the best of his ability尽其所能thought of… as…认为某人是…. be familiar with熟悉challenge挑战be proud of以…为骄傲strong determination坚强的意志

2.丰富的句式结构：

1）定语从句：

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid.

2）独立主格结构：

After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

3）表语从句：

That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.（其中包含it用作形式主语）

4）and连接并列成分或并列句

Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence.

六、参考答案

We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me. I said gently, “You’re eager to run, right?” “Yes, but I’m afraid…”said David in a low voice, with his head dropping. “I know you’re afraid of being laughed at, but I think it’s a good chance for you to prove yourself. You have been working so hard for the run, and I’m so proud of you, David. If you really want to run, don’t let anything or anybody stop you.” David looking up at me, his usual big toothy smile came back. “I have decided to run.” he said determinedly.

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. The run began. All the runners rushed forward. David was the only one who rocked from side to side as he swung his feet forward, which made him very special among the other participants. The crowds began whispering. Suddenly, David tripped over a small stone. I hurriedly shouted “Come on, David.” Unexpectedly, the whisper of crowds transferred into encouragement, “Come on! Come on!” David picked himself up and went all out to move forward. Although he still was the last to finish the run, he did make it. All the crowds cheered for him!